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Malawi Ep 10/Confessionals
{{quote|aulonocara|"Alright so I haven’t really accessed the game yet but I guess now would be the perfect time to, since my ass was about to get drop kicked into ponderosa. To pretty much run down the reasons I felt paranoid, I think there were quite a lot. I HAVE TWO FUCKING IDOLS OKAY?! THAT SHIT IS NOT EASY CUZ NO ONE WANTS TO WALK OUT OF THE GAME WITH ONE IDOL LET ALONE TWO LMFAO Samina, who had not talked to much at all, had been coming into my pms asking me about my idol clue which was relatively suspicious Becky decided to go mia on game talk, Matt did as well tbh. Andre was asking me too many questions like “oh who do you think is in the middle, da da da da which is like, come on dude, throw me a bone so we can have some strategic talk especially if you want to vote someone off. Jenna…. Was probably the only normal person but even then It just seemed like she was playing along with the whole gevonte vs Matt thing. Will also made a good point in if she wanted to shift the target onto someone it’d be someone else like me who she’s clearly not show any trust in. So for all those reasons above I decided to play safe just in case they were lying and sure enough they were! 5 votes were negated and I was just so excited, this has honestly been one of my favourite moments playing an org and I think it’s because I blocked a major blindside on myself from happening. I did end up using the merge idol I had found *The day before* but I knew that if I were to play it I should’ve told all the alliance members individually. I planned a fake idol find with Will and I think I pulled it off well. I basically told him if he was looking at the clue that samina gave him wrong (which was the right clue lmfao) and then I was like pretending to be dumb and be like “omg what if it’s like a reunion, I’ll ask for clarification on my yes/no question clue” and so basically I pretended to take a stab in the dark and find the idol which I think is relatively believable because of the lack of options we had left. Also in regards to the clues I only told will the resent clue I got and not the other two I received so that there was no chance that the idol got into his procession. I do feel bad now going further and further into this game with Will, because I think he’s a really nice guy, a bit interesting and crazy but I think his heart is in the right place with most things, it’s just that I can clearly not trust him 100% after the whole “Oh dan hates Becky” shit likeeeee don’t say crap like that to JENNA who’s clearly with Becky. And that’s another thing, while I do think Will is a relatively loyal person I do think he talks his ear off with most people and just sees what sticks which worries me, but I do think that he’s playing in the position of “leader” when in reality I probably have the better social game of the two (yes we can argue I got targeted but that’s cuz of this “items” I received, and too bad so sad y’all don’t know how to divide your damn money! The question here is: Are Jenna and Will closer than they let on and I don’t knowwwwww I mean he’s always bitching about her and she’s never bitching about him so based on social dynamic I would say no, but with that being said it’s clear that they must talk a little bit based on the fact that Becky told me about will accidently talking about me “hating Becky” and it could be a innocent mistake but it’s a mistake that probably made her fine with targeting me last round. If I had time and probably more evidence that I was being targeted, I probably could’ve taken out Jenna and most likely that would’ve been the sorta best outcome but Matthias going is good for me because I think it weakens Becky, it makes Andre lose probably somebody that he’s close with (based on Mathias giving andre immunity that round) and might mean Jenna and Samina will flip to this misfit-like alliance… speaking of Samina Samina has actually seemed to begin actively talking to me which is actually quite cool! I like her in all honesty and I don’t think she’s stupid, maybe a bit newbie but I can see how she somewhat functions as a player and I think she’s aware of her position (Touchy subjects may have lit a fire under her.) She actually told me was torn between me and Matthias which is CRAZY to me, she even showed me a parchment which I do believe but obviously in Survivor you have to take everything with a grain of salt or whatever, and I just think I need to build a social relationship and show that she can trust me. I told her I would keep this a secret and unless I’m in a tight spot I intend to keep that secret. The problem moving forward is this: If I use my idol this next round, Will is gonna be PISSED and probably rant to me about how I wasn’t loyal to him from day 1 and how I could’ve saved Willow and I could’ve done this and could’ve done that and then I’m basically killing my social game with this dude and that’s not good, so ideally I want to hold onto the idol and be safe this next round, and try for immunity, which I don’t believe I will get but I am preparing for it so I don’t flop LMFAO. But yea, if I use the idol again then Will won’t be happy, Layla probably won’t be too happy and then I basically have to win my ass to the end. I could win immunity at the final 7 and then go into the final 6 with a light pearl and then if I have enough votes with me that can be negated but idk… the legacy advantage will still play a big part in this game as well and that’s a scary thought cuz I know if I cross Will now it won’t be good for my end game so I have to figure out a way to be safe this round… but I just fear that I’ll be targeted as a safe vote cuz I’m seen as a threat but who knows, my social is good with the other side somewhat so that could save me… Basically alliance wise, Gevonte is probably my #1 and Layla is someone I have started to bond with a lot (I’m so proud that she’s the last green standing <3) Andre CLEARLY doesn’t want to work with me yet gets mad when I point that out to him, it’s annoying talking with him cuz it’s like talking to yourself in a mirror almost LIKE EVEN OUR FUCKING MANGAS HAVE SAMEISH SHIT. Jenna I just do not have the time to trust her anymore like this gurl really fears me and rightfully so like she’s lucky I didn’t have more time to vote her off (And Will voted around sooooo that’s a tad suspicious) Ummmmm…. Becky is there? God knows where her heads at because honestly I think she’s probably livid her little alliance kind of imploded on itself but serves her right for not talking to me, that’s probably all she had to do but meh, she called me a pig so idk how bad I feel